My kids....My heart

My kids....My heart

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Happy Birthday Katherine!

When I think about what it means to be your mother, I think about my own mom. The only words that can express the way I feel about you both are pure, unconditional love. I think about how my mom has always been the most influential person in my life. She has always been my strength. For many, many years I wanted so badly to be a mom. For so long, I wasn’t sure if that dream would ever come true. Since my own mother was the very best God had to offer, I prayed that I could be at least half the mother she was.

Just about 16 years and 9 months ago, I had the most incredibly real dream. I was holding this beautiful baby girl in my arms. I felt like everything in the world was simply perfect. When I woke up, I told your dad about the most amazing dream I’d ever had and how incredibly happy I was. That was on Mother’s Day, 1992. When I got out of bed that morning, nature sent me a crushing blow and all signs were that I could not possibly be pregnant. For some unknown reason, about a week later, I had a strong feeling that I needed to confirm whether or not I was pregnant. Three pregnancy tests and one doctor’s appointment later; I received the news that would forever change my life. There are no words that can describe the overwhelming joy I felt that day. Your birth was not just a gift to your dad and me. Katherine you truly have been a blessing to our entire family. Thank you, Lord.

Now, here you are on the threshold of 16! The thought of it takes my breath away. I remember so vividly how at that age I was trying to figure out who I thought I was meant to be. I know now how excruciating it must have been for Nana to realize that she must let me go, to let me grow. I know now how she felt when she realized that children really don’t belong to their parents, they are gifts sent from God, to be loved, nurtured and guided in to adulthood. It’s not easy letting go….

So, please forgive me when I hold on too tightly, it is only because I can’t imagine that you are no longer my little girl. Forgive me when I embarrass you by bragging about your accomplishments, it is only because I am so proud of you. Forgive me when I set such high expectations that they seem impossible for you to reach, it is only because I have so much faith in you.

Katherine, you amaze me. I am proud to be your mother. You are compassionate and loving. You are kindhearted, honest and loyal. You are so much smarter than you believe yourself to be. You love your family with your whole heart and that fills my heart with joy.

Katherine, you are my daughter and you represent the very best part of me. I know that your light will continue to shine and will always brighten the lives of those around you.

I love you. Happy Birthday.