My kids....My heart

My kids....My heart

Sunday, March 25, 2012

There is only "We."

It amazes me how quickly we learn and forget lessons. There really is no “us” and “them.” There is only “we.” Ultimately, we will all come to a place in our lives where we fully understand this notion. My hope is that the timing does not come in our last hour.

Without a doubt, there are people in our lives who we hold closer to our hearts, we cheer for a little louder and we love with more passion. What we have to remember collectively is that those people may have a tighter hold on our heart strings but those relationships don’t fill our love to its capacity. Our capacity to love is limitless. Love for one human being NEVER limits the ability to love another – ever.

Withholding love from another because you are angry, disappointed or feel they’ve made poor life choices may buffer you from pain in the moment but ultimately you will suffer because you are closing off your own potential to love and feel loved. Withholding love is the most critical mistake of all. Personally, I’d rather suffer the short term hurt than lose the long term relationship.

Now, if I’m going to be on board the honesty boat (thank you Vanessa & Kate), I cannot pretend that I haven’t been guilty of passing judgment on another or feeling quite angry over decisions they’ve made in their own lives. Learning to love and embrace the person without loving and embracing each of their life decisions, is a freeing experience and a necessary one in opening your hearts and allowing the fullest opportunity to love. After all, it is not my job to critique the life decisions of others, nor is it anyone else’s. The purpose of our lives is not a complicated one – it is quite simple. Love one another, without judgment and without exception.

I’m feeling a bit preachy here and that is not my goal. My goal is simply to remind who ever may take the time to read this blog that time is not endless and we must love each other now. If we don’t get it today – we will someday – but will that day be one day too late?

Sunday, March 11, 2012

So how does one make the biggest impact in this life? You Love

‘Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.’

So, how does one make the biggest impact in this life? You love. Plain and simple, I am certain there is no greater gift you can give. I have been reminded of that very fact in so many ways during the last few weeks and months. It is not that I did not know it before but sometimes we need gentle reminders to get us back on the right path and to remember the true purpose of our lives.

I have chronicled well my mother’s recent illness. Watching her possibly slip away from us had me scared to the very core of my being; it was a fear I had not ever known before. I will not soon forget the unnerving feel of the vibration of my own heart trembling within the walls of my chest. The absolute and unconditional love of her brothers, sisters, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, friends, my sister, father, children and husband provided me strength to survive that fear. I have no doubt I would have crumbled without them holding me together. Love, in truth, is what held us all together – loving each other was the only thing we knew to do.

When the most important events take place in our lives, wonderful or tragic~
love is what appears. In celebration and even in sorrow – love ALWAYS takes the front seat. I always make an effort to tell each and everyone in my life how truly blessed I am to be connected with them and how deeply I love them but if I have missed anyone – I say it here – loudly, clearly and with conviction, “I love you and am grateful daily for your love and the opportunity to love you in return.”

It is absolutely beautiful and amazing how love is aslo present in the absence of celebration and or sorrow. Because love is constant and at the root of our every day lives.

Obviously you are reading my blog, so you know I am a school secretary and on the surface that may sound like a pretty mediocre job that does not impact lives on a daily basis. I can tell you with absolute certainty that that is not true because it is not the way I approach my job. My job is not merely to push paperwork, schedule meetings, complete a hundred different crazy tasks at once or even do the morning announcements (although, those who work with me might say that it IS the highlight of my day♥ and I wouldn't disagree!). The most important thing I do is to approach each situation I encounter on a daily basis with a sentiment of love and respect for others. I wish I could say I did this one hundred percent of the time, I don’t – but it is always my intention. Within the past few weeks, we have encountered situations at school that could not be helped or healed by anything other than love. Tight hugs, large smiles, small conversation and simple words of encouragement were needed most and I’m fairly certain those things will not change a grade or increase a test score – but I’m even more certain they will never be forgotten by the child (or teacher) who received them.

I just read and am grateful for the beautiful and heartwarming blog from my dear sweet friend Vanessa Valenzuela who wrote,“There are people in your life – even outside of family – who you know with one hundred percent certainty that they love you. I am lucky enough to know that one of those people in my life is Sherry Stark.” Such beautiful words. I never want a day to pass that the people that I hold closest to my heart will ever question how important they are to me and how dearly I appreciate them being in my life. I know for sure that Vanessa understands how deeply I value our relationship.

I want to convey to every reader of this post ~ Never, ever assume the people you love know it. Never stop telling them or showing them with deeds how incredibly special they are to you and what their presence means in your life. There will be no “do-overs” so say it and show it now.