My kids....My heart

My kids....My heart

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Love Can Not Heal A Broken Mind

I’ve spoken and written much about the power of love. I have always had a quiet knowing that love is the foundation for everything we do. Love holds the power to heal a broken heart. Love is the vessel in which one soul reaches another.

Love is

~Magnificent ~ Miraculous ~ Brilliant ~ Glorious

The belief that love conquers all sustained my belief that love could also heal a broken psyche. The gut wrenching truth is love can not heal a tortured mind. What I describe as a tortured mind doctors describe as clinical depression. I now know this; love alone can not heal depression. This realization has brought me to my knees. Literally. This truth is the hardest truth I have ever had to bear.

Lately, there have been days I feel like I have to remind myself to breathe. Have you ever breathed so deep, you felt as though you might swallow your own lungs? For a moment, you are unable to breathe at all. That’s how it feels when you watch your partner suffocating in their own mental anguish. It’s as though they’ve become paralyzed from the mental torment they have no words to describe. And you become paralyzed from the fear of their pain. A broken mind suffers in solitude because the voice of inner torment is so loud that the tormented are no longer able to hear a gentle voice whispering softly that they are loved. No words filter through the pain and no amount of physical touch heals the self inflicted wounds caused by mental anguish.

It’s difficult for me to describe accurately the depth of aloneness I have felt while watching the man I love become isolated by his own tortured thoughts. The brutal reality is that my love can not save him in those dark moments when he no longer loves himself.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Poetry, I've Missed You!

I woke up this morning with an urge to write
The words dancing in my head
Fight to form a straight line

Expressing myself through lines on a page
It’s when my truth comes out of its raggedy cage

Swirling words in my head, how I wish I could read them
As they’re flying around
Like my pulse, I can feel them
This morning they are rampant and won’t settle down

Anger or sadness – not understood
Emotions I would express if only I could

Poetry, I have missed you!
It’s been years since we met
When bleeding hearts
Healed from words that we shared

To sooth my own soul
Is the reason I write
It’s the one thing I know that brings darkness to light