My kids....My heart

My kids....My heart

Monday, August 15, 2011

I Hope

I don’t really know what I believe. I often refer to myself as a “hoper.

Where many say with absolute certainty that they know where life came from and where it will ultimately lead us – I can only say I hope one day I’ll know.

My mom will tell you with absolute certainty that she’ll meet her own mother in heaven again some day – and, I hope.

Hope. No, its not a religion…. I don’t have one of those.
Instead, I have a deep yearning to connect to something bigger than myself.

I long for the faith of others that indeed there is something out there more magnificent, more forgiving, and far more loving than all of us.

Just weeks ago I found myself on a small boat in a big ocean. While totally immersed in the beauty of the pristine water all around me and the cold pouring rain sprinkling all over my cheeks, my breath was taken at the amazing sight of a whale dancing in the ocean. Of course I didn’t see the dance in all its magnificent glory, but that large tale flying through the air and crashing into the water showed me he was there. Moments later its breath made its way into the air. Overwhelming and pure joy rushed over me and soaked my soul as quickly and as efficiently as the Valdez rain. At that moment, my whole being was immersed in nature’s glory. In that moment, I felt more than just hope.

A few days later on that same small boat in the same large ocean, I watched the dolphins skimming the surface as they played and raced along just feet in front of our boat and I was dazzled by jelly fish waltzing below the surface of the water in all their illustrious colors – magnificent yellows, brilliant greens and extraordinary oranges. Nature – exhilarating, pure and yes, perfect.

There is not a church in the land with more proof of a creator than the absolute beauty of nature. I continue to ask myself, “Is there a supreme being who created this perfection?”

I hope.

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