Simply Amazed

I am amazed and somewhat awestruck this morning. Yesterday was an incredibly emotional day. My Uncle Bill underwent open heart surgery. He not only had to have his aortic valve replaced but he also underwent by-pass surgery and had a portion of his aorta replaced. Every time I think or say or write “aorta replaced” I feel stunned. Can you imagine that that is even possible? Most of my family spent the day waiting, wondering and I’m quite sure, praying. I have been praying harder these last few days and really I’m grateful for it. Even prayer takes practice! My amazement does not stop, however, with the medical profession.
You would have to know my Uncle Bill to understand that even in the most stressful situation, and yesterday our stress level was at full peak, he will find a way to crack you up. I’m a full believer, even more today than yesterday, that making people laugh may be his purpose on this earth.
I want you, the reader, to try to imagine this scenario:
His family is sitting nervously in the surgical waiting room and about an hour in to his surgery, a surgical nurse comes in to give us an update. She tells us that Bill is doing well and he has a team of doctors working very hard but they did not get the procedure going right away because they encountered one difficulty. She definitely got our attention! Then she proceeds to say, “We had a difficult time getting this dress off of him!” Yes! It was MY RED DRESS! Can you imagine the laughter that broke out in that room? Bill – even in surgery – OPEN HEART SURGERY - found a way to make us laugh! I have always said he had the “anything to make you laugh gene.” It did not end there – of course Kathy & Candy (who may also have inherited the “gene”) video taped the nurse’s report & we watched it again & again. I’m thinking this video is hilarious UNTIL they break out with more of Bill’s classic work. On the day before his surgery, he had to go for a pre-op visit at the hospital. The perfect opportunity to create history….. He not only takes the Famously Funny Red Dress, but he and his accomplices find a way to persuade nurses, medical staff and even cafeteria workers to take part in wearing the dress and/or sending messages to me to be watched while he is having his heart repaired! Can you imagine it? Can you see us all sitting there – surgical waiting room – stressed that our uncle, brother, life partner, dad is having his heart repaired while we wait and he has us laughing our guts out to a video he made the day before? Only My Uncle Bill could or would do that – I love him for it.

This morning, I am totally amazed, and grateful and fully aware of how blessed I am to be in this circle. My family sat in a room yesterday that was full of love and engulfed in laughter. During an incredibly scary surgery we got through it by laughing hard, hugging a lot and being with each other. Bill made sure of it.

This story is definitely not over – I thank God and thank my Uncle Bill for that!

2009 Ribordy Family Reunion

In our family, family reunions used to happen every Saturday, without planning. It wasn’t a once a year event that took phone calls and planning. We all showed up at Kathy’s or Joyce’s and just hung out all day long enjoying each other’s company. It’s the way we grew up and it’s the way I always thought it would be. In 2001, when we lost grandpa we started to lose those regular Saturday get togethers. They seemed to slip away slowly without anyone noticing or trying real hard to keep them going. We decided, as a family, that we needed to designate one weekend a year that belonged to nobody else but “us” not friends - just us. Tomorrow marks the first day of the Eighth Annual Ribordy Family Reunion. I can’t believe grandpa’s been gone that long and I can’t believe that what used to be a weekly event has now become a yearly event that’s difficult, at best, to pull off. I yearn for the time I spend with my family – they are who I am. They are the people who know me best – they are a reflection of me and I, a reflection of them.

We’ll all gather this weekend and we’ll soak up the love, the laughter, the friendships “Our Family." When the weekend comes to an end, we’ll believe, of course, that we’ll do it again next year. But we can’t say with certainty that this tradition will continue each year. We can’t know for sure that we’ll all be here next year. There was never a time when I gave thought to Saturdays not being spent surrounded by family. It was just us being “us.” But slowly those Saturdays slipped away. Our family has grown tremendously and there is always a good excuse to be somewhere else.

I pray that the time spent between the end of this “Family Reunion” and the next will be filled with a lot more Saturday get togethers; that we will treasure the moments when we are lucky enough to share each other’s company and we realize how blessed we are to have each other.

Happy Birthday Katherine!

When I think about what it means to be your mother, I think about my own mom. The only words that can express the way I feel about you both are pure, unconditional love. I think about how my mom has always been the most influential person in my life. She has always been my strength. For many, many years I wanted so badly to be a mom. For so long, I wasn’t sure if that dream would ever come true. Since my own mother was the very best God had to offer, I prayed that I could be at least half the mother she was.

Just about 16 years and 9 months ago, I had the most incredibly real dream. I was holding this beautiful baby girl in my arms. I felt like everything in the world was simply perfect. When I woke up, I told your dad about the most amazing dream I’d ever had and how incredibly happy I was. That was on Mother’s Day, 1992. When I got out of bed that morning, nature sent me a crushing blow and all signs were that I could not possibly be pregnant. For some unknown reason, about a week later, I had a strong feeling that I needed to confirm whether or not I was pregnant. Three pregnancy tests and one doctor’s appointment later; I received the news that would forever change my life. There are no words that can describe the overwhelming joy I felt that day. Your birth was not just a gift to your dad and me. Katherine you truly have been a blessing to our entire family. Thank you, Lord.

Now, here you are on the threshold of 16! The thought of it takes my breath away. I remember so vividly how at that age I was trying to figure out who I thought I was meant to be. I know now how excruciating it must have been for Nana to realize that she must let me go, to let me grow. I know now how she felt when she realized that children really don’t belong to their parents, they are gifts sent from God, to be loved, nurtured and guided in to adulthood. It’s not easy letting go….

So, please forgive me when I hold on too tightly, it is only because I can’t imagine that you are no longer my little girl. Forgive me when I embarrass you by bragging about your accomplishments, it is only because I am so proud of you. Forgive me when I set such high expectations that they seem impossible for you to reach, it is only because I have so much faith in you.

Katherine, you amaze me. I am proud to be your mother. You are compassionate and loving. You are kindhearted, honest and loyal. You are so much smarter than you believe yourself to be. You love your family with your whole heart and that fills my heart with joy.

Katherine, you are my daughter and you represent the very best part of me. I know that your light will continue to shine and will always brighten the lives of those around you.

I love you. Happy Birthday.

A Favorite Quote

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

- Marriane Williamson

Misty - I know you always read my blog. I posted this specifically for YOU! Always remember to let your own light shine, it is the reason you are here! By allowing your light to shine, you will also brighten the lives of your children. They can't fully understand today, but someday they will know just how incredible and difficult the journey their mother chose to take was; and they will understand how your hard work and determination enriched and empowered their own lives.

I am so proud of you!

Grateful

It is simply inconceivable to me that Christmas day is only three days away. As a child this day seemed to take forever to get here but as you get older it tends to come around much too fast. Over the years, you hear yourself say “it just does not feel like Christmas.” This year, in particular, that has been so true. It’s been a rough year. It’s been over two months since Wynn was laid off. He’s not the only one we know who has lost their job in this craziness. He actually drove twelve hours for what he thought would be 3 days of work. He’s been gone six days now and won’t get home until late on Christmas Eve. One year ago that would have seemed ludicrous. Now, we are thankful for the work. We talked on the phone for about an hour last night. We talked about how many people are going through such difficult times. Susie’s mom just passed away; his own mother just had a mini-stroke and is facing three more surgeries on her legs; Angie’s mother in-law is scheduled to have open-heart surgery; my friend’s brother just underwent quadruple bypass. The list could go on and on. During our conversation, my husband, the one that always brings me back to earth – said “You know we are really lucky.” That is not a thought that occurred to me lately, maybe because we have absolutely no idea when, how or where the next job will come from. And he reminds me that we are lucky! He is absolutely right. It’s easy to get caught up in the "poor me" syndrome until you look at those around you who are going through such emotional and financial hardships. I have said many times that life in the absence of tragedy is a good life. Saying it does not mean you always believe it.

So three days before Christmas I am attempting to make a drastic shift in my perception. The best way to feel the spirit of this season is to immerse yourself in gratitude. I have much to be grateful for: my parents & my one and only sister are still on this earth; my children are healthy, happy and kind individuals; my husband loves me and I love him - I made a pretty good decision twenty two years ago (it’s the gift that keeps giving); our family continues to grow as we have been blessed many times this year with the births of healthy, beautiful babies (Lord, thank you); my mornings are spent exercising my body and nourishing my spirit by spending time with my Aunt Kathy; Sunday dinners at Aunt Joyce’s are always delicious and filled with laughter, it’s a place where cousins continue to bond – not just one generation – but two- actually, make that three!

These are hard times, but they are also overflowing with love, friendship, family, good health, laughter and gratitude.

Lord – when I fail to remember, please remind me that I am:

Grateful. Thankful. Appreciative. Blessed. Fortunate and yes, Lucky.

Kayden Joseph Evans

My great-nephew, Kayden Joseph Evans, was born on November 10, 2008 @ 3:16 in the afternoon. He is an absolutely beautiful baby boy.

Thank you, God, for the blessings you continue to bestow upon our family.

3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Life is Fragile

You would think at 41 years of age, I would no longer need to be reminded about how fragile life really is. I should know to appreciate each good day, each moment of peace and tranquility in my home and in my heart. The moments when life has been trouble-free, when no tragedy permeates my inner circle have been taken for granted. Life certainly has an unkind way of reminding us to be grateful. On Saturday morning, about 8:30, I was reminded in a swift and cruel manner just how fragile life is. My friend and co-worker of over 14 years, Sylvia, lost her 34 year old husband suddenly Friday evening, with no warning of his impending death. He had plans to take her oldest grandson hunting Saturday morning. Life is cruel. When the grandson woke early, he thought his Tata Alex left him behind. His innocence was shattered moments later when he was told that Alex passed away, at home, the evening before. Life seems particularly cruel to Sylvia. This is the second time she has had to deal with the sudden death of her spouse. Her first husband, Francisco, died of a massive heart attack while at work. It was Alex that saved her from the destructive path that Francisco’s death put her on. I mourned with her then as I mourn with her now. I tried, but could find no words to comfort her. The best I could offer was a tight, long, heartfelt hug. I stroked her hair as she spoke of Alex and we cried together, but I could not ease her pain. I wish it were possible to ease her pain, but it is a journey she will travel alone. Life is hard and really unfair. The road for her is going to be awfully hard and terribly lonely. Her story needs to be a reminder to us all that each day that life is absent of tragedy – it is a good day. There are inconveniences and even days that are not great – but life really is good when those we love are here to share it with us. We fool ourselves in to thinking that our loved ones will always be here, that the life we live today will always be.... Life comes with no guarantees. During the last three weeks, I have found myself being depressed and wallowing in self-pity over the loss of Wynn’s job.
That feels so insignificant today.