Happy Birthday...

Was the thought I held in my head all day long yesterday. I watched and listened in peaceful amazement as the family buzzed around, telling stories, laughing and loving each other.

It was an absolutely beautiful day. One that could have sprung right from the past had it not been for all the children running around. The children representing the third and fourth generation of “us.”

Us has been an important word all of my life. It meant family. And there has never been a more important word for me, for us, than FAMILY.

Happy Birthday….

It would have been her 87th. She would have been buzzing around, telling stories, laughing and loving each of “us.”

Man, I miss her. I remember so very clearly a day when she said to me, “I won’t be around forever, you know.” I did not believe her then and sometimes even now its hard for me to believe. She was here yesterday. She was in the hearts, the minds, the laughter and the love we have for each and every one of us.

On this, her 87th birthday, she gave her family the most incredible gift, US.

My Dad....

Has only 8 more days left of work! He will be entering the world of RETIREMENT!! You don’t know it as days go by how your life is impacted by those who raise you. I’d be the first to tell you about all the awesome ways my mom has impacted, shaped, molded, nurtured and all together gotten me thus far in my life… but my dad… those words come seldom. I didn't always see how his presence in my life shaped me. How his getting up EVERY SINGLE DAY and going to work…. Hard Work…. stuck in my mind. How he, without a spoken word, helped EVERY SINGLE person in our family who needed it. Everyone always knew that they could call our house home. Most of my days living at home were shared with family members living in the home provided by my dad. I would not be who I am if not for those days. I’m not sure I have ever thanked him for that. He deserves a heartfelt thanks.

There are absolutely no memories of my dad staying home from work.

AND NOW, he only has 8 days left. I am so excited and proud of him. He, above all, deserves to take it easy and enjoy his days…

He has indeed shaped my life, he has given me an extraordinary sense of loyalty and work ethic and I love him and thank him for that.

Compulsive Thinker?

I am a compulsive thinker, so as I was reading Eckart Tolle's book Stillness Speaks, the following words jumped off the page at me: "Whenever you are immersed in compulsive thinking, you are avoiding what is. You don't want to be where you are. Here, Now.

I have re-visited this page in the book so many times.....it doesn't even need a bookmark.

Here. Now. It's the only time we really have. Life is so much easier when we don't try to "fix" the past or forecast the future. Every time my thoughts take off, I try to bring myself back to Now - it's a pretty good place to live.

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How Is It That I See Myself? A link to the past...

How is it that I see myself?
A link –
A link to the past filled with wonderment, love & strength
A link to a lady
Who these young will never
Know the glory of her touch

I see myself as special,
As lucky and grateful

I feel in a sense
Responsible to them
As though I must try in some small way
To love deep enough
Care strong enough
And I must try hard enough
To give them
Just a glimpse of her

Although I will never be able to express fully her love
My actions must represent what she was about
And they will know

That she was such an incredible spirit
That her impact will not only be felt during my lifetime
But Prayerfully
Throughout the lives of those who never got the opportunity
To embrace her
And feel the power of her love.

Now – How is it that I see myself?
As a messenger

My message is…
We all belong to her
We are all responsible to follow through with her plan
To love each other
To build each other up
And sustain each other.

It is my destiny
My responsibility
To this generation
To make sure that her work is done.

**This poem was written several years ago, but with Susie's poem and Grandma's birthday coming up in a week or so, I thought it was appropriate to re-visit it.

My Very First Blog...

Today is the start of our second week back at school. I wanted my first blog entry to be fascinating so that every reader would be captivated by my every word. I don't have it today. I might tomorrow, because writing is in my blood... It's therapy to me sometimes and sometimes just simple entertainment. But today, well today every single living cell in my body is tired beyond belief. I have been starting my mornings at 4:11. Thank God my coffee is on a timer and the final grunt sounds before my feet ever hit the floor. After a quick cup, I rush out the door with my work out clothes on.... It's over to the gym for me, well to Aunt Kathy's living room, but when I'm in my car at 4:30 in the damn morning, it is more motivating to say, "heading to the gym" in my mind. I'm not sure if the working out has done my body as much good as the time I'm spending with Kathy doing my heart good. I think my heart is benefiting way more than my butt! We laugh and talk through most of the work out, that is in between her telling me to tighten my abs or my butt.... I really have enjoyed our mornings. As a matter of fact they make my day. When I leave her house and the sun is up, I know its time to start my real day. Get home, hit the shower, iron the clothes, wake the kids, wake the husband, straighten and curl the hair, head out the door to take the kids to school and then I'm off to school - which is a lot better than saying I have to go to work! After a long crazy day surrounded by 500 or so kids and fifty or so grown ups who sometimes are worse than kids, its back home to help with homework, get dinner done, Katherine to practice.....

Did I mention every single living cell in my body is tired?